Confidence and arrogance are two sides of the same coin, and there’s a fine line between the two of them. What can come across as confidence to one person can seem like arrogance to another.
This provides us with something of a conundrum, because confidence is essential for success in the world of business, starting with the way you present yourself in interviews and continuing through your day-to-day work.
Let’s take a look at the similarities and differences between confidence and arrogance and why mastering the balance between the two is crucial in today’s professional world.
The Hungry, Humble, Smart Framework
In his pioneering and bestselling book The Ideal Team Player, Patrick Lencioni introduced the idea of true team players being humble, hungry and smart. This framework builds on that and provides you with a way to behave in the workplace. Let’s take a look.
Hungry: Being Ambitious Without the Attitude
They say that actions speak louder than words, and that’s never truer than it is for the confident employee. The goal should be to show how hungry you are through your actions, demonstrating your drive through the work you do. Don’t just talk the talk; walk the walk.
Practical Tip: Speak about some of the specific projects you’ve worked on where your hunger made a difference.
Humble: Owning Your Wins Without the Swagger
Being humble doesn’t mean that you sweep your accomplishments under the rug or pretend that you haven’t achieved anything in the first place. Rather, it’s all about owning your wins and celebrating them but without the swagger.
Practical Tip: Switch between using “we” when talking about things you’ve accomplished as a team and “I” when talking about your personal contributions.
Smart: Emotionally-Intelligent Self-Promotion
The key to emotionally-intelligent self-promotion is to be able to read the room. There are times when it’s fine to promote yourself and to talk about your achievements, and there are also times when doing so can cause more harm than good.
Practical Tip: Practice active listening, in which you devote your whole attention to what the other person is staying instead of spending the time thinking about how you’re going to respond.
Putting it all Together: Confidence in Action
When it comes to putting your newfound confidence into action, there are three main places where I’d recommend displaying it. Let’s take a look at each of those in turn.
Interviews: Your Time to Shine (Not Blind)
As a hiring manager, I’ve seen more than my fair share of arrogant interviewees. I’ve also seen plenty of confident ones, and they’re the ones who always get the jobs. The one thing that the confident employees all have in common is that they’re able to effectively articulate their achievements.
Practical Tip: Focus on the actions that led to results and not just the results themselves. If you need help with this, check out my recent post on the STARR Technique.
Resumes: Show, Don’t Just Tell
There’s an old piece of advice for writers that says that you should show and not tell. This is similar to what we talked about when we talked about being hungry. When it comes to your resume, you can apply this by moving beyond simple job titles and job descriptions and talking about how you actually made an impact.
Practical Tip: Quantify your achievements wherever possible (e.g. “Increased sales by 20%”).
Networking: Building Relationships, Not Just Contact Lists
We’ve all been to an event where someone bulldozed their way into a conversation and tried to dominate it by showing off about their achievements. Don’t be that person. Use your accomplishments to connect with people, not to intimidate them.
Practical Tip: Use a challenge that you overcame to demonstrate your resilience and reliability.
The Authenticity Advantage
Being real beats being perfect every time. It makes it easier for people to relate to you, which is super important when it comes to interviews, resumes and networking, as well as elsewhere in the business world.
To practice authenticity, acknowledge potential growth areas and find ways to unlock that growth. Doing so will make your strengths more believable, and it may even allow you to take what was once a weakness and to turn it into a strength for future use.
Confidence helps with this, but arrogance doesn’t. Arrogant people don’t think that they have any weaknesses and so they’re unable to find areas for improvement. Confident people know that they’re already pretty good at what they do, but that there’s always a way to get even better.
In the end, it’s all about finding a balance between self-promotion and humility. It isn’t easy to do, but it’s just a part of doing business in today’s ever-connected world where we’re all responsible for developing our personal brands.
I’ll be sharing some more tips to help you to practice and refine these skills in future posts, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled for that. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to keep practicing these skills yourself!